So you got sober, which was hard enough, now how do you tell your work about Sobriety? Or do you even tell them?
What if my work is not supportive?
Will I lose credibility?
What if they didn’t know I drank?
What if drinking is allowed or encouraged at work or work related functions?
Will I lose my job?
These questions are all fears that can surface because dealing with Sobriety at work can be tricky to navigate. Below are some stories and tips from women that have successfully navigated sobriety at work.
There is not a one size fits all approach to this.
It is really going to depend on your work situation. Crystal was 3 months sober when she started her new job. It was a small office with only a few people that did not socialize outside of work. She chose not to share her sobriety journey with anyone at work. It never came up, they did not have functions outside of the office, and it was pretty much a non-issue. The same cannot be said for Joanna at her first workplace in sobriety.
THIS POST IS ALL ABOUT SOBRIETY AT WORK
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Joanna started working at this particular office at her rock bottom. She had quit drinking but was back to drinking again when she got hired. During her first month employed there, she hit bottom. She started attending 12 step meetings and would rush to work after the meeting and would run late to work sometimes because she was talking to people afterwards. She was so preoccupied with her troubles and trying to stay sober and juggle work and recovery her work suffered. Unfortunately, because of her work performance she was terminated.
“Looking back, I should have told my Manager that I was trying to get sober and was going to meetings. It was making me late to work and effecting my work. I had just started working there and didn’t want to lose credibility or seem like one of those weird people in recovery. I didn’t understand what I was going through so it was hard for me to tell anyone, let alone my work. It was humiliating. Surprisingly, once I told my Manager she was understanding and allowed me to quit and provided a letter of reference for my new employer when I left. She had a lot of compassion and understanding when I was honest. Being upfront would have been easier but I wasn’t ready.”
I’m very open with my sobriety at work. I work in Real Estate where it is practically a requirement to drink. Real Estate is fast paced, stressful and not uncommon to drink to unwind, or celebrate closing a big deal. It does make it easier since I work for myself, but I have had to overcome the fear of what my clients might think of me. The first few years I was sober I did not tell anyone. After some time, I had a sober friend ask me to help her buy a house, which I did. Then another sober friend asked me to sell her house, so I did. Pretty soon a majority of my clients were other sober people I knew from recovery meetings! I’ve been able to bond and connect with clients that have family or children with substance abuse issues, or they themselves have struggled.
You will need to decide if being open with Sobriety at work is for you. In my case, I feel comfortable with it and I have seen such positive results from being open that I don’t regret it. It works for me. Crystal has been at her work for 5 years having never mentioned her recovery, and never having to address it. Joanna lost her job, but in the end gained compassion from her work with the option to stay, but chose to leave and it decided mutually it wasn’t a good time for that venture. Whatever you choose to do, come from a place of certainty and know everything will work out the way it is supposed to.
You are exactly where you need to be.
For a quick read, pick up a copy of 3 Weeks to Freedom, Kick-Start your Kick-Ass Life in 21 Days